Just a glimpse

Today I am thankful for perspective. I find that I get wrapped up in my own life so easily. The day to day and the task to task can become overwhelming. So much so that I find myself feeling as if I am the only one facing the challenges of life, love, and ministry.

Today I am thankful for a friend who shared life and shared perspective. Although her challenges are hers and mine are mine there is linkage there that makes the bearing of a load not so heavy. Never would I wish hardship on another but when another can relate to your hardship and you can relate to theirs we bear that burden together and the impossible becomes possible…you gain strength for one more day.

Life is lonely sometimes but I am finding the Lord provides glimpses of community at just the right moment.

The memories we make

I have the privilege of hosting 8 women in my home on a weekly basis. We gather, eat, study God’s word, and share our lives with each other.  It is community and it is refreshing. Last night was an especially good night.

It was my night to make dessert. I don’t do desserts. I can cook most anything but baking and I are not always on the best of terms. However I had a plan (a recipe) and I had the determination to see it through. That was until my canned pumpkin was expired.

The show must go on. No use crying over expired pumpkin.

Side note: what does it say about me that I have expired canned goods in my pantry? Doesn’t that stuff last for like years? I’m going with: we have a small apartment thus a small kitchen thus a small pantry and because I am such a good house keeper (wink wink)  I keep our pantry fully stocked and it was a simple oversight that something would expire. But that is another post.

I regress. So here I am, facing the fear of dessert, 8 friends coming over hungry and expired ingredients.  What is a girl to do? What do we always do? Make it work! It was a Tim Gunn moment yall. I decided I would do what I do when I cook, improvise and use what I have. I baked some very interesting cupcakes with some very interesting icing. My sweet friends (and husband) indulged themselves in what I named “Harvest Spice Cupcakes” like something out of a William Sonoma Catalogue.

The cupcake itself…simply boxed cake mix, but the icing was a creation of innovation. Who knew cream cheese, nutella, pumpkin coffee creamer, pumpkin pie spice, and brown sugar whipped up a mighty good frosting (be it a ridiculously fattening icing).

In the frantic of making this cupcake creation like a contestant on Cupcake Wars (you know you watch that show) I ran out of time to do the dishes and have the kitchen clean and ready for my guest. A task I hold in high importance each week as the girls gather. I try so hard to make my home a sanctuary for our time. A sink full of dishes does not a sanctuary make, at least not for this girl. However as the night went on and each dear one shared the truth of what they were learning, the exciting announcement of new seasons of life approaching, the tears of heavy burdens and stressful weeks the sanctuary was being built despite the dirty remnants of a busy day.  Our hearts were linking together in celebration and joy.

Today I am thankful for friends who share times with me that make memories. Even when there are dishes in the sink.

Embrace

Last night I attended the visitation service of a friend who just passed away from pancreatic cancer, 30 years old.

I was struck by something I saw while I was there.

His 25 year old widow in the embrace of a sister in Christ, who herself recently became a widow in her 70s.

I didn’t hear their words to each other but I watched their embrace and it spoke abundantly.

Of comfort, understanding, love, friendship, hope, presence, and sorrow.

Sometimes I find that a touch or an embrace can speak words to another that our lips never could. Our touches reach people in places our words never could.

The power of an embrace brought tears to my eyes as I watched two women embrace in understanding of each other’s terrible circumstances.  Here are two women from different generations and backgrounds and seasons in life yet linked by a common understanding. The power of that linkage gave them ability to speak into each other’s lives without saying a word.

There is power in your touch. Sometimes words are not necessary.

Belief

What does it take for our beliefs to begin to shape our actions? I have been asking this question a lot lately of both myself and those around me. For the sake of this post I will focus on my own errors in this, you know working on the plank before the speck.

There are many things I say I believe yet those beliefs don’t shape my actions. For example, I believe the Word of God is powerful and useful for every situation in life, but the amount of time I spend studying and reading it would not show proof of that belief. I believe that hell is a real place and that apart from the grace of God individuals will be there for an eternity, yet this belief doesn’t cause the words of the gospel to spill from my mouth every time I speak with someone. I believe that true religion and true love in Christ is taking care of the least of these and loving the orphan and widow, yet too many times I sit on my hands and money with no movement towards a better life for those in need.

Why is this? Could it be I don’t really hold these beliefs? Could it be I haven’t allowed these beliefs to penetrate to the soul? No really I’m asking because there is void in my life between belief and action. I don’t want this to be true of me.  Am I the only one? What are the areas of belief that have yet to become action for you?

My prayer these days: Lord help my unbelief.

Ephesians 1:18-20

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

¹⁸ I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, ¹⁹ and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe. These are in accordance with the working of the strength of His might ²⁰ which He brought about in Christ, when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places,

Journey

You will have to forgive me for failing terribly at this 31 words in 31 days thing. The month of October took on a life of its own before I could yell “Stop it!” Some medical problems have landed me on a new medication that makes my head feel dizzy and all things that make putting complete thoughts together really difficult.

So today I am playing catch up with a couple of posts to share the crazy thoughts that have been swimming around lately.

First up, Journey.

Yes the 80’s rock band that I love dearly and you do too even if you are too proud to admit it. Don’t stop believing!

But, also, Journey… the walk you take from point A to point B. The space that fills between the beginning and the end.  The time spent investing in lives, crying tears, embracing strangers, learning lessons, forgiving hurts, smelling flowers, and healing wounds.

Confession that I have allowed life to become too routine and my perspective to become too narrow. I want to breathe deeper, step bolder, and speak louder. I want my journey thought this life to be intentional and meaningful but also to be filled with moments that take my breath away and draw me more into worship of a God who is creator.

How is your Journey going? Slow down, make it count, be intentional, be present!

Comfort

Today I am grateful for timing. My husband is a student at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary and I have the privilege of working there. One of the joys of being on campus at SEBTS is the chapel services that take place twice weekly. I sneak away from my desk for an hour and enter into a worship service with coworkers and co laborers for the gospel. It is good for the soul. Specifically today.

The past few months have been difficult with health problems, ministry stresses, and the loss of a loved one. So this morning as the chapel speaker began by saying we all enter sanctuaries sometimes with a broken heart the tears began to fall strong and fast. Being at work you would think I would try to compose myself but there was no hope in stopping the hot mess of emotion.

Ed Litton spoke with tenderness and authenticity as he described the weight of ministering out of a heart that is broken. Everyone hurts and everyone faces hard times but ministers and ministers wives experience it differently he said. We work from the heart and sometimes we have to work from a broken heart.

The truth of this as some timely in my life right now cut straight to the bone. His words became like salve to my soul as he read 2 Corinthians 1 about the ministry of comfort within us as believers that comes from the God of all Comfort.

When I think of comfort I often think of coffee, big blankets, warm fireplaces, yummy food, thanksgiving smells, and laughter. But most importantly  comfort is the One who has conquered the grave and death, comfort is the One who has healing in His hands, comfort is the One who extends grace to the wayward and love to the fatherless, comfort is the One who lives inside of my fallen broken surrendered body.

Check out the full message by Ed Litton here http://apps.sebts.edu/multimedia/?cat=10 

Margin

Margin. The area around the mess. The blank space that is given to fill creatively. The white of the bible page where you write what the spirit gives. The deep breath that is taken not in frustration but in relaxation.

When I look back the moments of inspiration, joy, health, satisfaction, all those moments were during seasons when life allowed margin. Time spent in the abundant moments outside of the daily routine. Time not filled with appointments or tasks but instead filled with still and quiet.

Today margin is no where. Thus inspiration runs dry and satisfaction runs short.

I'm reminded today of a MercyMe Song, the lyrics speak what my soul is feeling these days. A cry to sit a while, a cry for margin.

When I cannot feel, when my wounds don't heal
Lord I humbly kneel, hidden in You
Lord, You are my life so I don't mind to die
Just as long as I am hidden in You

If I could just sit with You a while, if You could just hold me
Nothing could touch me though I'm wounded, though I die
If I could just sit with You a while, I need You to hold me
Moment by moment, 'till forever passes by

When I know I’ve sinned when I should have been
Crying out my God and hidden in you
Lord I need you now, more than I know how
So I humbly bow, hidden in you

If I could just sit with You a while, if You could just hold me
Nothing could touch me though I'm wounded, though I die
If I could just sit with You a while, I need You to hold me
Moment by moment, 'till forever passes by

If I could just sit with You a while, I need You to hold me
Moment by moment, 'till forever passes by

Moment by moment, 'till forever passes by